For the last seven months or so out of college, I’ve been wondering why it’s been so hard for me to find a job compared to my colleagues. Everyone else seems to know in what direction he or she wants to head into. They’re reporters for the Miami Herald and the Boston Globe. They’re producers for Univision. They’re aerial photographers and post-production gurus. They’re landing their dream jobs, but here I stand frozen.

I have to admit, I’ve never fit into the Emerson College mold of a student. My classmates used their free time to concentrate on their careers. They pursued internships, extra-curricular activities, hosted television shows, and wrote books. While I also took on an extra-curricular every semester– everything from reporting for the newspaper, features for the WERS 88.9 website, and T.V. script writing and anchoring—the work wasn’t my priority. I would rather spend my time serving others on campus and around the city of Boston than write a story on the campus cutie for the college’s webzine. With Redemption Hill Church and Emerson Christian Fellowship combined, I attended some sort of small group, large group, or book club everyday. There was nothing else I loved doing more than being surrounded by friends and getting real with one another, growing together, crying together, and laughing together. I spent my summers working for RHC as the registration coordinator for the free soccer camp we hosted for children in the city of Medford, MA. I found joy dressing up as Curious George for community Easter egg hunts, and often taking the last train home at 12:30 a.m. on school nights because I friend needed me for support. I loved journalism, but I loved people more. That is why feature writing appealed to me so much. I got to meet people where they were in life, listen to their story and share it with the world.

When I graduated, I wanted so bad to be the average graduate that left college and got a normal job like everyone else. But my dreams were far too big for a life far too simple. “I want to help people,” I would say. “I just want a job where I can help people.” I wanted to change the world, but I didn’t know where to begin. Could I do that as a journalist? Sure. They have tons of influence. But as one freshly out of college, I couldn’t see the path I needed to take to make that a reality. Family and friends kept telling me I was being too picky. Everyone starts somewhere, they’d say. But I wanted my work to have meaning now. My life had meaning while I was in college, and I didn’t want that to end because I had to get a “real” job.

I was torn over what I wanted to do versus what I thought I was supposed to do; who I wanted to be versus who I was supposed to be.

This is the part where I would normally say I feel like I’m being called to ministry, but I think “ministry” is a word that’s misunderstood. Most people think of pastors and priests when they hear the word “ministry,” but in the Bible, servant and minister are synonyms, as are service and ministry. I want to serve for the rest of my life, it’s just a matter of God showing me where He wants me.


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